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Puyallup Fair

Oct. 18th, 2005 | 06:51 pm
posted by: snikelfritz in ask_scarlett

As a former resident of The Bog... I was wondering if you could find one of the classic Puyallup Fair commercials. You know, the ones that started "All of the animals down at the fair, do the Puyallup when there's no one else there..."

I'll give you 50 meat if you can find it! ;-)

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Li'L Markie

Oct. 17th, 2005 | 04:08 pm
music: The Waterboys - Fisherman's Blues
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

Asked by asleeponsunbeam (in reference to this video http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/0510/lilmarkie.mov):

"What are the Vegas odds that Mark Fox/Lil Markie have never been laid? Ever."

I think he might be married, sadly enough for womankind. this would definitely up the odds considerably that this has happened at least once.

Why did the crowd not find this creepy as fuck?

Well, I have my ideas, but I am going to keep them to myself for now :P

Why does Tweedledum wear his pants so high?

Well, if you look at him, he is very spherical in shape. He must wear them above his "equator" or risk having them fall off.

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(no subject)

Oct. 17th, 2005 | 06:31 pm
posted by: asleeponsunbeam in ask_scarlett

What are the Vegas odds that Mark Fox/Lil Markie have never been laid? Ever.

Why did the crowd not find this creepy as fuck?

Why does Tweedledum wear his pants so high?

WHY, SCARLETT, WHY?!?!??!

Oh man, that clip was my first real laugh all day.

xoxo
J

ps-I'll think of answerable (is that a word? Hey, there you go!) questions soon.

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Always Place an Onion on Your Head

Oct. 17th, 2005 | 02:59 pm
music: Van Morrison - Madame George
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

Asked in a restaurant by a friend of a friend:

"What is that genre of predominantly Latin American surrealist literature? You know, like Gabriel García Márquez, Isabel Allende, etc."

It's called "Magical Realism" and it also includes authors such as Sherman Alexi, William Burroughs, and Salman Rushdie, to name a few. it is characterized by magical elements taking place in an otherwise realistic setting, usually without being questioned by the characters in the book. A good example of this that most people have seen or read would probably be "Like Water for Chocolate".

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Flargen? Dingle? Pee Wee?

Oct. 15th, 2005 | 10:24 am
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

senoraboneyard (btw, nice name) asks:

Who was that fat guy in all those bad biker movies? You know, the one with the pappy the leprechaun beard and the stringy brown hair? Who the hell was he and what happened to him?

This is a tough one. Without a specific movie to go on I am going to have to put forth a guess. the first and most obvious one being Dennis Burkley. Mr. Burkley has made a career out of playing characters with names like "Dozer", "Big Jack" and "PeeWee". He was the biker who didn't talk in "Mask" and has been on everything from "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman" to "Sanford and Son". He is still working, most notably doing voice over work for "King of the Hill", but has cleaned up his look a bit so you might not recognize him. Here is a page of his photos:

http://www.dennisburkley.com/photos.htm

There are a couple of other possibilities I can guess at, but it would help if I had a movie or TV guest appearance to go by. Anything you can add?

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Scary Biker

Oct. 15th, 2005 | 12:45 am
posted by: senoraboneyard in ask_scarlett

Who was that fat guy in all those bad biker movies? You know, the one with the pappy the leprechaun beard and the stringy brown hair? Who the hell was he and what happened to him?

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Baker Baker

Oct. 14th, 2005 | 10:48 pm
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

Asked a few days ago via text message by snikelfritz:

"What is the meaning of "a baker's dozen and why does it mean 13?"

Well there are some complicated answers to that that I won't bore you with, but the bottom line is it seems to have something to do with old laws and weights an measures. The baker had to cover his ass and would chuck in an extra sticky bun to make sure it would weigh enough to be legal. Now it has just become a tradition. Snore.

Some people say it has something to do with the number of guests at the Last Supper. Those people need to find joy in the Noodley Appendage of His Grace.

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Adam Anti-Psychotic

Oct. 14th, 2005 | 10:40 pm
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

From vegantiki via phone this evening:

"When was the last Adam Ant tour and didn't he go to the booby hatch?"

The last Adam Ant tour was planned in 2002 but never happened.He was hospitalized in 1994 for depression, in 2002 for walking into a bar dressed as a cowboy and threatening to shoot people, and then again in 2003 for throwing rocks threw his neighbors window. He's supposedly working on his memoirs, which will presumably be written in crayon as they don't let you play with pointy things in psycho barn.

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WWFSMD?

Oct. 14th, 2005 | 10:31 pm
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

ryanwildstar asks:

You please me so, my Sister. Where the hell did we come from?

Haha, nice try smart boy!
If you are speaking of the origins of biological life on this planet, the answer is, no one is sure. Personally, I subscribe to the concept of "intelligent design"... provided by intelligent design you mean Flying Spaghetti Monsterism.
Flying Spaghetti Monsterism puts forth the theory that an invisible and undetectable Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe, starting with a mountain, trees and a "midgit". It also states that global warming, earthquakes, hurricanes, and other natural disasters are a direct consequence of the decline in numbers of pirates since the 1800s. If you would like to know more about FSM, here is the site and the history behind it http://www.venganza.org/index.htm

If instead you are speaking about where we as in "you and I" come from, I can attest to the fact the we are products of The Bog, but if I remember correctly you had the good fortune of being born in Boston ;)

May you forever be touched by His noodley appendage.

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Welcome to Ask Scarlett

Oct. 14th, 2005 | 03:09 pm
music: Pogues - Haunted
posted by: evilcupcakes in ask_scarlett

People ask me questions... all the time. I am known as a wealth of trivial knowledge and a wielder of formidable research skills. TEST ME.

Wanna who that band was with the song that went "NAHHHH NAH NAHHHHH"?
Who was that guy in that movie with the thing?
What is a slug?
The basic theories of Kierkegaard?
How do spiders mate?

My areas of expertise are sexuality, biology, science, philosophy, religion, the paranormal, household hints, geography, anthropology, mythology, music, pop culture, cult movies, and much more.

**I do NOT however, answer math problems. I suck at math.**

You can ask me a question, any question, and if there is an answer out there I will find it. I will also dispense advice and theory if asked.

Rules:

1. No flaming
2. No trolling
3. No promos of any kind

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